Not much laughter at the moment...

I feel like throwing a tantrum right now. I want to lay in the floor and wail and scream and kick my feet. However, since I am no longer 5 years old, I cannot afford such extravagance of emotion. I have not felt much like my normal, giggly self lately. I found out last week that my job is in danger. This does not make me very different than the millions of other people in the country right now that do not have a job. I really like what I do, and it is the first time that I don't want to leave my job. It feels more like a career than just something to get up and go to every day. I don't get paid very much, but I enjoy it.

Now I knew that my grant would run out next year, but I was very confident that we would get another one and I could continue on. Then the bottom feel out of the economy and everyone is scrambling to get money from an even smaller pot. I am grateful that I have 7 months left to find a job, but it makes it hard too. When should I start looking? Should I hold out hope that money will be found and I can stay? It stinks too that my coworker is also in the same position. Of the two of us, I am in a better position. I can get on my husband's insurance and while money will be tight, we can make it since his salary is larger than mine. My coworker does not have this luxury. That makes it all the more imperative that we get more grant money or that he be able to find a new position quickly.

Having this weight pressing down on me is difficult. It is not the first time that I have felt the pressure to find a job, but in the past I have always found something. I have never been turned out of a position before. This weight in my chest feels heavier than before. I thought I had recovered from the initial shock of this, but today I feel it again, worse than before. My temper is short, I am easily irritated by things that I usually just endure or think nothing of. I also have the feeling that while my closest coworkers are truly upset and worried, the larger portion in other parts of the organization are not. It is too abstract...oh, well they still have their job and that is just too bad for her. I have had a feeling that my place is not too well respected within the ranks. I often joke that we are the stepchildren and more recently have ranted about such slights more openly. I have wanted to change the perception and let everyone know that we are valuable, necessary, and vital...as much so as everyone else. I don't think this is to be though and I fear that the urge to help find the money that would allow two of our ranks to continue to work in this wonderful place will not materialize and that we will instead fall away. I hope I am wrong on this point.

This is how I feel today...I hope tomorrow I feel differently. I usually do after some reflection. I am hoping this small and petty whining to the ether of my problems will help me to put it in perspective and just get over it!

Warren Harding Error

Today is election day in Virginia. In honor of election day I put on my Warren G. Harding campaign button. I found it many years ago in my grandmother's button jar. I like to make up stories about the history this button has seen. The 1920 election was the first national election in which women could vote. Sometimes I imagine my great grandmother wore this button the first time she voted. It is a reminder to me that even though we live in a great country, we still have a long way to go. Women have only been allowed to vote for the last 90 years. Cars have been around longer than women have had the right to vote! Every time I take out this button it reminds me of my duty as a citizen and how I should never, ever take this right for granted. It is a real shame that so many of us do, especially when so many people have fought so hard to have this right.

The button also has a second meaning. It is a reminder to vote, but to also be a well informed voter. Warren G. Harding is arguable one of the worst presidents we ever had. Historians have joked that he won because he was so handsome and all the women used their newly won voting rights to choose him. This might not be too far off the mark based on Malcolm Gladwell's theory in Blink. He calls it the "Warren Harding Error." Women would not have been the only people susceptible to this. Warren to many people looked like a president. He was tall and good looking. Never mind that he was hardly qualified. People are drawn to tall individuals who look the part. I will not go into specifics; read Blink for an in depth explanation.

Richard Nixon also suffered from this idea of "looking presidential," in his fateful 1960 debate with Kennedy. This was the first televised presidential debate and Nixon, who did not wear makeup, looked sickly and tired. Kennedy, on the other hand, looked tanned, fit, and rested. People made assumptions then and there.

Now I am not saying that everyone picks candidates based on the superficial, but we should do our research on our candidates. Know why you are voting for someone. Do not vote just because they "look like a governor," or because they are a Republican or Democrat. Know their positions on issues, know their qualifications and skills, and know that they are going to serve the people, not their own interest. Your vote is much too valuable to simply cast without some careful thought.

If you have not voted today, please do so. We are so fortunate to live in a country where we can. The United States may not be perfect, but it will never improve if the people do not make their voices heard.