Prayer works for everything?

Today a coworker expressed her dismay at my current job situation. It was really nice of her especially since I respect her so much. We chatted for a bit and I told her that all hope was not lost as we might yet find the money to keep myself and my partner in crime afloat. Her response was not what I expected. She said she would pray for it and for me to do the same, because "prayer works." My automatic response was, "oh yes it sure does," even while I was saying in my head, "does it really?"

I thought of the movie 'Saved,' when Mandy Moore's character finds out that her favorite Christian Rock band can play the prom. She excitedly punches the air and screams, "I told you prayer works for everything!" Given my current apathetic state, I feel very conflicted about it. On the one hand, I do pray and pray fervently. Lately I have been praying for the infant daughter of a friend. I send in prayer request to my church and yet I still have doubt. Why is that? I wish I felt more confident. In fact, I feel guilty when I pray because I am only half-heartedly doing it. I know that part of me thinks that it is a sham and why do it. Then there is another part of me telling the former part to shut up and say a quick prayer of forgiveness for my lack of belief. Wow, can you say conflicted!

I am stressed about my job outlook, but this is not the first time I've been in this position. Ok, well maybe not this exact position, but I've had to search before. It is always a time filled with anxiety, but everything always seems to work out. I always seem to find a job, find enough money, find a solution to every problem that confronts me. Is that just luck, or is someone or something guiding me and answering those prayers that my conscious self does not even acknowledge?

I don't know the answers and I suppose my back and forth struggle is part of my journey. No matter what, I will continue to pray for that baby girl and the earthquake victims in Haiti and anyone else who needs it. Maybe it is the positive vibe going out to the universe that make things seem better, or maybe there really is a God sitting on high answering the prayers of the faithful. I don't know, but it never hurts to hope. And if things turn out ok, then prayer really does work.

So tonight I pray...God please be with Emma and her family. Heal her, hold her, and comfort her. Give her family strength to deal with everything that comes their way. Love them as only you can. I also pray for the victims of the recent earthquake in Haiti. Help those who are working to rescue those in dire circumstances and help heal the wounded and comfort those who have lost their loved ones, their homes, and possessions. Help those of us not affected to be mindful of them and offer our support by whatever means we possess. God forgive me for being an unbelieving hypocrite.