My wonderful husband bought me an acoustic Yamaha FG700S for Christmas. It is so lovely, the flattop is a marvelous mellow yellow with beautiful curving side, and great action for someone with tiny hands. Can I play it...absolutely not! However I am working to remedy that problem. Today I took the first steps. I went to my friend Libby's house and she showed me a couple of things and tomorrow I get to meet her instructor. I hope to line him up for some lessons.
I need this right now. Even though I continue to giggle, I feel like it is hollow. I never intended to write so much about my job woes, but here I am again. Our board met last week and on Monday seven of my coworkers were let go. I also found out that the hiring freeze is still in effect and our CEO is not inclined to look for grants that would continue to fund me and my cohort. So, in three months I am out on my substantial arse. I knew it was most likely going to happen, yet that did not make it any easier. I have been twisting in the wind for seven months knowing that my funding was ending, yet still under the illusion that a position might open up or that we might get new grant funding. I now know that was a false hope and that I need to awake to reality.
How did I deal with this? Well, I got good and drunk on Monday while cleaning my office. It was a pity party for one that let me get out all of my emotions, while at the same time I attempted to define a space for me to hunker down in and find a new job. Drinking and cleaning do not mix, but it served its purpose. I have not purged all the demons, but I am now more focused and have a plan of action for the coming weeks. In the meantime, I hope to amuse myself and dervert my anxiety by learning to play guitar. Music may not always be a substitute for tears as Paul Simon so eloquently sang, but it can sometime soothe the savage beast, or in this case, soothe the anxious and aching heart.
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